Parent/Teen Communication

The other night we had a Parent/Teen activity. We try to have several of these a year. There are two goals for these nights. First, we want our teens and their parents to have a really great time hanging out with one another. Second, we want our teens and their parents to evaluate their relationship to see where it is and if it is moving in the right direction.



The first goal was accomplished. We did a picture scavenger hunt that was absolutly hilarious. The second goal varies from family to family but I think they had the tools to get the job done if they so desired. The tools that I am referring to are some sheets I handed out to help them think through their communication. I reiterated to the parents and teens that all relationships, from God to our little brother, are grown upon the cornerstone of communication. If parents are to be the disciplers of their children, which I also remind them of often, it is only going to happen if good communication is flowing freely.



So I am posting the content of the forms below so you can use them to help teens and parents evaluate the quality and the quantity of thier communication.



Time Together Questionnaire - Teen

1) What is your favorite memory growing up?

2) What impresses you most about your parent(s)?

3) One a scale from 1 to 10, 10 being best, how would you rank the quality of time you spend with your parent(s)?
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

4) One a scale from 1 to 10, 10 being plenty, how would you rank the amount of time you spend with your parent(s)?
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

5) What kind of fun activities would you like to do with your parent(s)?

6) What kind of ministry activities would you like to do with your parent(s)?

7) If you had some serious questions to ask your parent(s), when and where would it be easiest to talk about them? Example: “at a coffee shop after school.”

8) If you had an evening to just hang out with one or both of your parents, either at home or out, what types of things would make it a good evening.

9) If you could choose to start one thing that would be a spiritually enriching time with your parent(s), what would it be?

Time Together Questionnaire - Parent

1) What is your favorite memory with your kid(s)?

2) What impresses you most about your teen?

3) One a scale from 1 to 10, 10 being best, how would you rank the quality of time you spend with your teen?
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

4) One a scale from 1 to 10, 10 being plenty, how would you rank the amount of time you spend with your teen?
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

5) What kind of fun activities would you like to do with your teen?

6) What kind of ministry activities would you like to do with your teen?

7) If your teen had some serious questions to ask and talk about, what kinds of things would you do to make time available?

8) If you had an evening to just hang out with your teen, either at home or out, what types of things would make it a good evening.

9) If there was just one spiritually enriching thing that you could start with your teen, what would it be?


Communication Evaluation For
(Parent / Teen)

This evaluation is to bring “communication jammers” to light. Answer honestly with the intent to start a communication change in your parent and in yourself.

1= Usually do this, 2= Often do this, 3= Sometimes do this, 4 =Seldom do this, 5= Never do this

a. Sidetracking (many issues, nothing resolved) 1 2 3 4 5
b. Cancellation speech (ex. “That was good. I wish you would do that more often.) 1 2 3 4 5
c. Final word speech (Always has the right and only answer to every topic) 1 2 3 4 5
d. Excessive negative talk (complaining and fault-finding)
1 2 3 4 5
e. Mind-reading speech (I know what you meant) 1 2 3 4 5
f. Overpowering speech (harsh tones and forceful words)
1 2 3 4 5
g. Disregarding speech (not considering the other view)
1 2 3 4 5
h. Emotional speech (dramatic, overreacting) 1 2 3 4 5
i. Picayune speech (big deals out of small things) 1 2 3 4 5
j. Excessive cotton candy speech (superficial, all joking)
1 2 3 4 5
k. Excessive heavyweight speech (always deep and weighty)
1 2 3 4 5
l. Insincere speech 1 2 3 4 5
m. knee-jerk speech (always a quick response)
1 2 3 4 5
n. Defensive speech 1 2 3 4 5
o. Evasive speech (avoiding issues) 1 2 3 4 5

p. Sarcastic speech (cutting words in disguise) 1 2 3 4 5